You Have Every Single Thing You Need to Make It!

27 Feb
Smile :-)

Smile 🙂

Yesterday I had the pleasure of speaking to a group of 11th and 12th graders at The High School of Fashion Industries. I really wanted to stress the importance of self-love, owning your beauty/individuality, and realizing your dreams. Thank God, it went way better than what I could have imagined and they were receptive and responsive and even said I should be a supermodel! Woot Woot! At one point during my conquer your dreams chat, I informed them that they had everything they needed to make it. Teaching it to them was also a reminder for me and I wanted to share it here on The Essence Of… because whether you’re 17 or 27 or 77, it’s disheartening when things don’t go as planned. We know rejection is inevitable, but when we’re on our 3rd or 4th go and opportunities still aren’t working in our favor, it can get a little discouraging. Naturally, we question ourselves. Am I qualified enough? Good enough? Pretty enough? Smart enough? Worthy enough? We wonder if we measure up enough to receive whatever it is we’re in pursuit of. A job, a house, a family, a car, love.

But we do measure up, no matter how much failure tries to convince us otherwise. We often hear people say, “Make sure you have a backup plan” and “Have a plan ‘B’ in case plan ‘A’ doesn’t work out.” In response to that, though, I suggest, “Keep plan A. Just find an alternate route.” If you really want to be a teacher and you know that it’s what you were put on this Earth to be (note that purpose is just as important as desire), don’t give up or question your qualifications just because you have trouble passing the certification tests. Try again and take steps to resolve the issue. Get tested for text anxiety or look into outside of the classroom opportunities, like mentoring programs, that still allow you to do what you love.

Many times when we throw in the towel it’s because we eventually start to believe that failure is the result of our lack. That couldn’t be further from the truth though. Failure is a natural part of life and should not be taken personally. We have every single thing we need to overcome those failures and make it. Yesterday I gave the students the analogy of my purse. Now I typically carry a really large purse to hold all of my girl stuff. I have every single thing in there I need to achieve a made up face: foundation, blush, eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow, lipstick, lip gloss, makeup brushes. EVERYTHING! I have other stuff in there too, like lotion, my wallet, hand sanitizer, tampons, keys, a bottle of water, some kind of snack, a notebook, pens, receipts, loose change and so on. When I’m looking for my little brown eyeshadow pot that I use to fill in my brows and can’t find it, it’s not because it’s not there. It’s because so much other crap is in the way so I have to do extra digging until I find it. In the same token, when we’re entering and exiting failed relationships one after the other, it’s not that we don’t have love to give or that we don’t have confidence to receive it. We may just have some other things in the way. The same way I have to clean out my purse from time to time and throw away all those loose papers and empty water bottles, we have to do that to our insides. Throw away the insecurities, the attitude problems, the mommy/daddy issues, the hypersensitivity, the fear of failure, etc. Those things grow bigger and bigger the longer we let them sit, and then they eventually start crowding our space. They cover up the tools–like love, brilliance and wisdom–we need and already have for a healthy relationship or good job, and we think we don’t possess them simply because we can’t see them for all the other mess in the way.

The fact that we’re alive and breathing is no mistake. We were equipped at birth with everything we would need to make it in this life. Bad things may happen along the way and produce baggage a.k.a junk. We have to do regular cleanups though to throw away that heavy garbage. Every essential you need is within you; it may just be hiding under a big piece of crap. Have a real moment with yourself. Write down your flaws or weaknesses. Confront them and then discard them. Every time they try and make their way back in your life, speak to them out loud and say, “I have defeated you and there is no place for you here.” Once you say it enough, you’ll believe it. After that, make a conscious effort to discover your good. Write down at least 7 of your positives. Do you have a charming smile? Soothing or articulate speaking voice? Giving spirit? Are you good at math? Do you have an artistic gift? Do you have great legs? Sexy curves? Have you survived hardship? Any 7 things you want; just write them down. Tape them to a mirror if you want. Focus on them daily and celebrate them. Those are your tools and this is the start of uncovering and dusting them off. Once you start putting your tools to use, they will return the favor and start propelling you where you belong.

You’ll be fine. You’re going to make it. You have every single thing you need!

Love you lots and Happy Thursday!

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10 Responses to “You Have Every Single Thing You Need to Make It!”

  1. sudom121 February 27, 2014 at 10:06 am #

    This was a great read! definitely something I have to remember out here! I love the purse analogy soo you! haha also the positives are something i used with all my clients that most grew to love!

    Like

  2. Christi February 27, 2014 at 1:21 pm #

    How inspiring! This is such a great message to people no matter what phase of their lives they’re in! Just what I needed to hear/read today!

    Like

    • Essence February 27, 2014 at 1:23 pm #

      Yaaaaye! Glad it spoke to you.

      Like

  3. Mikela February 27, 2014 at 3:32 pm #

    Very inspiring words of wisdom! I will definitely be sharing this one. And yes, you should become a super-model with your striking brains and beauty.

    Like

  4. Karen February 28, 2014 at 5:35 pm #

    Love this Essence! Just shared it with my niece on Facebook. 🙂

    Like

    • Essence February 28, 2014 at 6:22 pm #

      Thanks Karen & hope your niece likes it!

      Like

  5. Juanita March 5, 2014 at 12:34 pm #

    Such a positive and uplifting article, from a positive and uplifting woman! You’re a true role model indeed. Keep shining bright and sharing your valuable insights (check out the rhyme skills though lol). Great job!

    Like

    • Essence March 5, 2014 at 12:35 pm #

      Lol! Thx for reading & supporting 🙂 XoXo

      Like

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