Beauty. Here’s to Having It, Knowing It, and Acting Accordingly!

27 Oct

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Happy Monday Loves ❤

“I love that she’s so pretty but doesn’t know it.” We’ve heard women say this about others, and maybe we’ve even said it about a few ourselves. I’ve been on both the receiving and dishing ends of this “compliment,” but it wasn’t until a few days ago that I realized it’s not much of a compliment at all. It’s actually rather twisted. I know that the basis is really just to note someone’s humility, but there is some small part in that statement that mirrors a larger truth: You can be beautiful, intelligent, generous, or whatever else–as long as you don’t know you are. You have to carefully find the balance between exercising your x-factor and appearing as if you’re unaware it exists. Dare you take full ownership of what it is you know you’re awesome at and all of a sudden you’re conceited, narcissistic, and any other adjective that means full of self.

I was inclined to think about all of this on Friday night after I posted a selfie collage to Instagram. Ever take a selfie and look at it like, “Yaaasss, Self! Give life!”? Well, that’s how I felt this particular night. My freshly cleansed and moisturized face looked clear and radiant, and my untamed Afro sat thick and high in all her glory. I started my caption, “I’m in LOVE with my skin & hair!”, but then I deleted it letter by letter. That sounds too cocky,  and I can’t say that about my own pic were my thoughts as I prepared to write something more modest, like, “All ready for bed. #nightnight.” A light bulb moment later, though, I was like, “No! I’m not about to deny the fact that I think I look like someone’s hot young lover from a 70s photograph in this pic, just so my followers don’t think I’m full of myself. That’s crazy!” So, I wrote how madly in love I was with my reflection just like I had planned.

My to post or not to post dilemma had me thinking about how as young girls we’re conditioned to dim our beauty, whatever that beauty may be. Sure, have high self-esteem, but not too high. Every once in a while, throw a jab at yourself in the fitting room with your girlfriends because that means you’re humble. We can freely tell a girlfriend how gorgeous or smart she is, but when saying how much we really like the way our curves look in a dress, we must proceed with caution and carefully construct a sentence so that our expressed self-love doesn’t sound too haughty. But that’s really messed up and unhealthy. Unhealthy for ourselves and for others. The damage leads us to believe that we can never fully own all our fabulosity, and it leads others to rely on another’s dimmed light for their own esteem when the two should have nothing to do with each other.

The same way we can repost someone else’s pic and hashtag #WERK!, so can we about our own. There is definitely a such thing as conceit, and it’s quite annoying. But celebrating how fab you look, how you just got a promotion, or how you nailed an exam is not that. That’s confidence. In owning all of our awesomeness, we inspire and permit others to do the same of theirs. We say through our self-love that it’s healthy and beautiful to walk in and utilize all that we are and all that we accomplish. So, I challenge you this week to compliment someone else, AND find a creative way to compliment you too! Look in the mirror every morning and say, “Lookin’ good, self!”, or post a selfie with the caption, “Slayed it!”, or treat yourself to a glass of wine for a job well done with the kids, or whichever way you choose to recognize how amazing you are. Make owning all that you are a habit so that other women are compelled to do the same, without apology! What’s the point in having something beautiful if you have to pretend you don’t know it? Here’s to having it, knowing you have it, and acting accordingly!

❤ ,

Essy

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3 Responses to “Beauty. Here’s to Having It, Knowing It, and Acting Accordingly!”

  1. Juanita October 27, 2014 at 9:24 am #

    Girl, yes, yes, yes to this article! They say self-praise is no praise, I say they’re lying lol! It all starts with how we feel about ourselves. Loving, owning and celebrating all of your glorious self, is healthy and important. Nothing more beautiful than confidence. Great article!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Christi October 27, 2014 at 11:01 am #

      Ditto to what Juanita said!!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Essence October 27, 2014 at 12:20 pm #

        Thanks for reading beauties!

        Like

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