The Essence Of… Sistiends

15 Dec


Chris & me one late night/early morn in Miami!

“I been gone for a minute, now I’m back with the jump off.” -a very Royal Queen

Hey Girls! OMG, it’s been forever. So I got this new opp with Black Enterprise now and I go to their offices every week! I’ve been getting adjusted to this new schedule and had to pause The Essence Of…, but I’m all settled now and ready to get back at it.

Once upon a time in college years, my BFF Sasha put me on the word “sistiend.” After years of knowing each other, sistiend, the fusion of sister and friend, seemed to be the only word that could describe what our relationship had evolved into. We were no longer just friends; we were like sisters, bound for life through obnoxious laughs, accompanied by hand clapping, foot stomping and live reenactments of whatever we were laughing at; ugly (and snotty) tears as if each other’s misfortunes were our very own; secrets that may or may not result in us serving time; and boredom-induced hangouts a.k.a. random trips to Walmart in which we set out to ride tricycles down the toy aisle and harass innocent customers. Yesterday I couldn’t help but think about all the ways my best friends were really like un-biologically related sisters when my other sistiend, Christi, texted me a link and said, “Ok so you’re all of these rolled up into one. lol! Love you BFF!” The link led to a blog post on Black and Married with Kids, titled, “The 8 Types of Girlfriends Every Woman Should Have.” I smiled immediately, prepping for a little laugh and rush of memories as I read about all my different sides according to Christi. In short, they were:

  1. The Cheerleader: the friend who’s always happy for your every moment, from the most minor to major
  2. The Sensible One: the friend who’ll listen to your rage and then talk you off the ledge
  3. The Ride or Die Chick: the friend who’ll encourage your rage and pop off with you when necessary
  4. The Comedienne: the friend who makes you laugh so hard your stomach hurts
  5. The Honest One: the friend who gives you the real, even if it stings
  6. The Ambitious One: the friend who’s crazy enough to chase her dreams
  7. The Nurturer: the friend to soothe you when you’re sick or heartbroken
  8. The Spiritual One: the friend who’ll pray with you and for you through good and bad

But I didn’t laugh as much as I expected. I kind of wanted to cry, actually. Reading each friend type, knowing that my sistiend felt I embodied them all, really warmed my heart. To know that someone you admire and respect so much thinks so highly of you tugs at your strings in a different way. It always amazes me that through our nearly 20 year friendship, we’ve never fallen out or had a girl fight. Same goes for my other sistiends Sasha and Candace. Their friendships have spoiled me in a way I didn’t know until I got older: That smooth sailing I was used to was NOT the norm. Lol! While I, without question, value all of my friends and their various additions to my life, there’s a special place in my heart for those three day one, A-1 girls.

“Chris,” “Sausage” and “Can” know me, the real me, and all of my facets. They’ve been there to catch my tears and shed their own, simply because it hurt them to see me hurt. Each has spoken positivity into my life since childhood, and urged me as an adult to leave our hometown because they believed my light was too bright. When I said or did something out of line, they never questioned my motive because they knew the essence of my heart and character. If ever one of them rants to me about an issue, I can automatically have their back because they’re real enough to not bring me any drama that they may have had a hand in. They can be real with me, and I can be real with them, because we get that our only intention is to see each other do and be better. We can sit on the couch, sober, for hours talking about everything from guys to lifelong dreams to how cute Blue Ivy is to family drama and back to guys again. I could honestly go on and on all day about all the reasons why these sistiends of mine are worth an entire blog post, but then it would just seem creepy and obsessive [insert disturbed face emoji here]. But I say all this to say, if I am 8 amazing gal pals wrapped in one, it’s because they make it so easy for me. They’ve been riding so hard for me, for so long; the whole while seeing me for all that I am (and am not) so it only makes since that I be there for each of them in whichever way I need to be, whenever I need to be.

Here’s to sisterhood and friendship. May God bless you with a sistiend, or three, who’s so amazing that she’ll paint a ridiculously beautiful and unrealistic portrait of what friendship is because she’s just that perfect!

❤ ,


Shouts out and endless love to ALL of my amazing girlfriends I’ve met over the years. I heart you all for the balance you bring. 


5 Responses to “The Essence Of… Sistiends”

  1. sudom121 December 15, 2014 at 9:31 am #

    Essence when i tell you I am truly in tears! OMG!!! This is too public you know we are G’s!!! I am truly blessed that God saw it fit to have our crazy sisters meet and decided why not make these two nuts bffs as well! You are definitely one of a kind! I love that you accept me for me always! You are definitely an honorary Udom at this point… (if Al asks about you ONE more time lol) OK im done you’ve sapp’d this post up enough let me not add to it! LOVE YOU ALWAYS!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Essence December 15, 2014 at 10:02 am #

      Lol! Love you too girl, and the whole Udom clan. Can’t wait for you to get back from Thailand!


  2. Christi December 15, 2014 at 10:55 am #

    I love this!!!! And ditto to being spoiled by our friendship/sisterhood! I have a much lower tolerance for girl drama because of you lol! Love you so much!!!!:-)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Essence December 15, 2014 at 10:59 am #

      I knooooowwwwwww! Lol! We really are spoiled. Love you back ♥️


  3. LaShonda F. December 15, 2014 at 11:59 am #

    Awww that was beautiful Essy! It is true though, your sistiends are pretty awesome women and I promise I am not being bias because I’ve met them before….ok maybe a little lol

    Liked by 1 person

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