The Essence Of… ATL: Closing Thoughts I Said I Would Email but Turned Into Today’s Blog Instead!

20 Apr

The Essence Of ATL

Happy Monday ❤

You’ve probably seen via social media by now that I hosted my very first event over the weekend!!! I am so grateful to everyone who came out to support, and the turnout was way beyond my expectations. It did my heart so well and warm to see new faces and those from way back share their love with me!

For those who couldn’t make it, the event was at Kiwi Vintage Market (the most amazing vintage shop EVER!) and was the intro to me as a media personality and advocate for self-love. Lana Ector and Jae Nash joined my co-host Erica Dias and me to spark conversation surrounding careers and relationships, and how unconditional self-love is a highly crucial element in both. The audience was absolutely amazing at chiming in and sharing their perspectives as well.

Towards the end, we redirected the talk to focus solely on loving yourself and tidbits to grow more in love with all that you are each and every day. I actually came up with the thoughts and wrote them down in the middle of an anxiety attack. I was so anxious and stressed about something that I felt physically sick. After I began to write what I know God planted in my heart, the anxiety subsided and the very thing I was stressing about resolved as soon as I finished.

A lot of those who attended asked for me to send my wrapup thoughts via email, but I figured I’d share them with everyone in today’s post. I hope you’re touched in some kind of way for the better and that you’re motivated to get all that you deserve in this grand life!

My thoughts and stuff:

*These were really raw notes so I cleaned them up the best I could.

Self-love always brings me back to the truth that God lives inside of me. I am His reflection, molded in His Image. What is there not to love? He allowed me to be here, to take up space in His universe.

Greater than my feelings of self-doubt are my feelings of self-assurance. If God lives inside of us, then self-assurance is God-assurance. Have a Godly confidence in yourself, knowing that He lives and breathes inside of you. If you listen to Him, all will be well.

Trust that God is working everything out on your professional and relationship journeys in your favor. And trust that He knows YOUR favor BETTER than YOU do.

Take the pressure off of yourself. We say to ourselves, “I got this,” or sometimes our friends will say to us, “You got this,” in tough times. But change your language to “God got this,” “God got me.” If you got it, you leave room for error and confusion. If “God got it,” all will be well because He is living perfection and He doesn’t make errors.

Trust and take pride in your process. Even when it’s lonely, scary, leaving you in debt. Ask yourself, “Am I doing all that I can be doing to progress?” If the answer is yes, let things be. Let your process run its course and stay sane by reminding yourself of how powerful God is. In an instant, unbeknownst to you, He can turn everything around.

-If the answer is no, start making improvements so that God can see that you take His next level of elevation for you seriously; that you won’t under use or misuse what He wants to give you and where He wants to take you.

Forgive yourself. Don’t be harder on yourself than God is. You won’t always make the mark. It’s not an excuse for carelessness, laziness, poor choices and poor relationships, but you don’t deserve self-sabotage and abuse every time you fall short either. Dust yourself off, cry if you need to, and try again.

Talk to God more. Tell Him out loud, “Help me. Help me be all that I’m meant to be for THIS day. Do all that I’m meant to do for THIS day. Love who I’m supposed to love, work where I’m supposed to work for THIS day.”

-Don’t obsess and be so consumed by a future you can’t even see yet. You may be, and you most likely are, selling yourself short by trying to force things in place for your future. Have a vision, but don’t lock yourself into a specific step-by-step process of how the vision should unfold.

Don’t expect God to use your measuring tools either. Maybe you measure “success” or “happiness” by if you can make it work with your long-term love, or landing that job with the pay raise. And those things are great if they’re God’s plan too.

-But know that His measuring tool for success may be determined by, “Can she truly sleep at night knowing that her husband is faithful?”, “Can she fulfill her purpose and do what makes her happy with his support and confidence in her even when she’s not confident in herself?”, “Can she keep this job and still do what I called her to do?”, “Can she do this job without complaining every other day, or crying in the bathroom stall, or stressing herself to the point where she’s not even present enough to enjoy the little blessings I place in her life every single day?”

You think your ruler or measuring cup is the standard. But it’s not. You think you’re the expert on your life. But you’re not. You didn’t create your life, mold your body, plant your natural interests, or bless your talents. God did all of that and He knows better than you how and when they are to be used. You belong to Him.

-How can someone else who didn’t create your child tell you about your child? Analogy: A) A stranger drawing from their surface knowledge knows that peanuts offer awesome health benefits. But they don’t know that despite those health benefits peanuts can kill your child because he’s allergic. B) From their surface knowledge, they know that being direct builds tough skin. But they don’t know your child’s personality or how childhood experiences impacted his confidence and self-esteem. Conclusion: What seems like it makes sense to the outsider in regards to your child is coming from a general level of knowledge. But that knowledge is not customized for your child because it fails to take into consideration the factors of which they are unaware.

-Likewise, you are not your creator. You’re aspiring for things based on general knowledge and what Instagram or society is saying you should do and have. But you’re different and God sees the parts of you that aren’t yet manifested. He sees the parts of you that you can’t even see yet. He understands your behaviors and reactions that you’re still trying to process. His denial of that job or the man you loved are so that you can have life. Just like a stranger can’t see that your child is allergic to that peanut and all its nutritious protein, you can’t see that you’re “allergic” to that career choice, or academic program, or marriage, or relationship or friendship. Consuming the things that look so grand to your limited vision that He’s steadily trying to steer you away from may harm you.

Follow His tugging. Connect the dots to all the things you do and love naturally. That’s how you maintain peace. I was so stressed out on Thursday about several things, so much so that I was becoming nauseous. But after I prayed about it, I started doing what I do naturally: writing, writing words of life, writing words of empowerment and encouragement. The stress subsided immediately. I felt more at ease and I felt safe because I was where I belonged—in a space that allowed me to do what Essence does and does well and does with anointing. What do you do with anointing?

Appreciate that He still uses you. He still trusts you to live in His space and do His work. I didn’t even trust my group members for projects in school. I would nicely eliminate them from the equation and say, “I can do it” or “I’ll write the whole paper.” I didn’t trust their performance or capacity to do my work on my behalf or contribute to the vision of success I had for myself.

-But God doesn’t eliminate us. He didn’t eliminate you from His equation, even though your performance affects His plans and His vision for how He wants His world to work. He doesn’t replace you because He knows and believes you have what it takes. He’s trusting you to do His assignments. That HEAVILY counts for something; it means you were chosen!

At the end of the day, all of this is for Him. For His people to be served, enlightened, assisted, supported and empowered. You can’t empower your children, friends, nieces and nephews, and people who you don’t even know look up to to you if they see you settling in a relationship never intended for you. You can’t empower them if you’re too scared to go after what God told you to go after. Denying yourself those things is denying yourself, and God who lives within you, a BIG piece of love. When you fail at something make it a win. Make it worth something by dusting off, trying again and again and again until you win.

When you do that you honor God. When you honor God, you, without realizing it, open yourself up to self-love and falling more in love with yourself. Don’t you feel more at peace, and happier, and lighthearted when you’re doing what you love? When you’re with not just who you love, but who loves you back and not only lusts you back? The small things don’t matter anymore. You’re not constantly worried about painting this picture like it’s all together, because you feel at peace and you’re proud of yourself for pursuing what you deserve. You being proud of yourself means more than someone else’s pride or approval of you.

Pray each day: “God use me today. Guide me so that I make you proud and make myself proud. Use me as a vessel, however You may, to serve Your people. I know that these works are the route to Your approval with me and my peace within myself. Only then will I even have the capacity to love myself fully as I should.”

Say thank you. Thank God, thank your boo, thank your children, thank your friends, thank the store clerk… A heart and spirit of gratitude does the body and soul well. Love yourself enough to thank people every single day.

Self-love is a spirit thing.


One Response to “The Essence Of… ATL: Closing Thoughts I Said I Would Email but Turned Into Today’s Blog Instead!”

  1. darlinqueens April 20, 2015 at 10:09 am #

    Well said, well said, well said.
    You have definitely been blessed with a wonderful gift and I am glad that you are using your God given talents to bless others. Glad your event was successful and I wish you many more fabulous events!❤
    Love and miss ya chica.

    Liked by 1 person

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